What now...

You tell me..I don't really know. Indulging myself with school work, social and church's welfare. Is that not enough? I don't know.

I felt like I am lost some how. I thought I was able to focus, but maybe it was a lie for myself? What is it that I am hiding? One thing I know for sure is the blast of relationship I was in, I am so over with...what is it I am so lost and confused about?

Does life really sucks? I doubt it. I assume it must be more than what...there is got to be more to life. Maybe I need another blast in life to make a difference?

Great, and I am yet to find that blast?

Come to think about it, I maybe know what I am missing...maybe that's the one thing I am missing right now that needs time to look for.

Since 2nd October 2006. Things seems to change in me, emotionally especially. Am I asking too much for myself? or is the world asking too much of me? I was once told, I am in the world NOT of the world. But..how can I be just IN the world when everyone else is OF the world?

Dilemma...dilemma...something needs to be done and I do not know exactly what..

Will time tell?

How Ironic

Some people just cannot take the fact that the truth was spoken. Agreed?

So much for my Happy Ending

It is funny how sometimes songs that we listened to applied in our lives. This is one of them that applies to mine. Love can be so blind, when we thought that we found someone that we are meant to be with and thought that he cares about us more than anyone else, is when the blindness fades away. I now see, what exactly he cares about. Himself. It took me a while to really see what he is about. I think it is still not too late, I still have time to start a new chapter of my life. And that is what I will do.

But seriously..

Who is to determine who to trust and who not to trust?

Who is to determine what is honesty?

Who is to determine what is right or what is not?

Who is to determine...what is truth?

You or Me?

Tell me...is it so hard to be yourself for once and not hurting anyone?

Is it so hard to tell the truth?

Would you want to know the truth now or later, thinking that telling me now would hurt me more than later?

Truth can be so cunning.

Truth does hurt.

Truth can be so untrue.

Truth can be a story that never ends.

Truth can be deceiving.

When there is a Truth being told, who is to determine to believe it?

What is there to believe?

Believing in something can be a good thing.

Believing in someone can hurt.

Believing can be so untrue.

Believing can cause stories never ending.

Believing someone can be deceiving.

So..seriously..what is all this?

Expect the Unexpected.

-Saturday, 19th August 2006-

Something happened after a wonderful night we had at the F&B Karaoke night.

On that same day in the morning, accident happened in Hau'u'a.

"Two teenagers died and three others were hurt when their speeding car ran off Kamehameha Highway and hit a utility pole at 4:20 a.m., police said."

Later..

"Nineteen hours later, at about 11 p.m., a group of people apparently paying their respects at a roadside memorial to the crash victims were themselves hit by a car, police said. One person was killed in that accident, one was in extremely critical condition and two others were in critical condition."

One of them, is Summer-Lynn Mau. My co-worker. I was shocked when Megan called me up and told me about that incident. I was speechless, did not believe it until I read the news on Honolulu Advertiser myself.

I quote,

"Speed was a factor, said Honolulu Police Department Capt. Frank Fujii"

If those "DRIVERS" were to drive with their conscious mind and concern about other people's safety and "OBEY" the rules. None of this could have happened.

One of them being interviewed and said the below, and I quote,

"This is too tragic," Kepaa said. "They were just stopping to show some respect. How does this happen?"

Their good hearts were paid with a tragic accident. I don't know whatelse I can say. Speechless. I am sure no one expect this to happen. But someone has to be responsible for the death of Innocent lives.

News:

Mourners struck at site of fatal car crash

Teenagers in car wreck identified

Hau'ula shrouded in grief by 4 deaths

May Summer rest in peace...and return to the arms of our Heavenly Father.